Centre Travel

A pretty woman dressed in a heavy fur coat went to weigh herself. Asking for some change, she stepped on to the scales. At the sight of the figure on the dial, she gave an unhappy cry, and took off her coat. She put in another coin, but was still unhappy , and this time took off her sweater. Still unhappy she kicked off her shoes this time. Now said the shop assistant "From here on," he said, "it's on me."

It was time to explain to the children that the rabbit needed a nest-box. Dad patiently explained that the period was about 28 days. "Ah", said the son. "Just like the special offers on cereal packets" Please allow 28 days for delivery."

As an organist, at a funeral service, I was asked to play Bach's "Sheep may safely graze" at one ceremony . No wonder for this play. The deceased was a lamb importer.

1 large onion, chopped 4 ounces grated raw carrots 4 ounces finely chopped walnuts 4 ounces dry wholemeal breadcrumbs salt (optional) 2 beaten eggs 1/2 pint evaporated milk Fry onions over low heat in melted margarine or olive oil. Add celery,carrots, nuts crumbs and seasonings. Cook and stir over low heat for about 5 minutes Beat eggs, stir in milk and combine. Turn into a well greased loaf pan. Bake in moderate oven (350F Mark 4 ) until nicely browned about 45 minutes. Turn out on a heated platter. Surround with green peas. Garnish with sliced hard boiled eggs. Serve with mushroom or tomato sauce. Serves 4 to 6.

4 hard-boiled eggs 2 ounces diced celery 2 tablespoons salad dressing 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1/2 tablespoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon grated onion salt and pepper (optional) 3 thick slices tomato Lettuce Paprika Celery curls Chop eggs coarsely. Add celery, dressing and seasoning. Season salt and pepper if liked Press into large or individual moulds and chill. Unmould on tomato slices placed in a bed of lettuce. Sprinkle with paprika. Garnish with celery curls and additional dressing, if liked. Serves 3